Responsibilities of a Submissive

contributed by LoveBound

From my own experiences and observations, it has become obvious to me that in a lot of instances when one enters into the lifestyle of D/s as a submissive, there is a tendency to feel as a submissive that all needs are about to be magically taken away; that the Dominant will come in and save the day. But we soon find that while a Dominant can build your self-esteem and guide you upon the right path, ultimately you are responsible for yourself. Unless your Dominant is around you 24 hours a day, there is no conceivable way s/he can hold your hand and walk you through life.

Being submissive does not release you from being responsible to yourself; for only in being responsible to yourself can you truly be pleasing for your Dominant. A Dominant is not there to be your parent, but to be a partner and a guiding force in your growth, both physically and emotionally. When it becomes that the Dominant is holding you up, holding your hand through life, it has crossed the line into a co-dependent relationship and will only serve to diminish the beauty of D/s, the beauty of Power Exchange within your life.

Responsibilities of a submissive

•   Never expect to have your Dominant live your life for you.  
•   Keep up with your own personal self-growth, a Dominant should not have to tell you how to grow, but be a guide on your journey. You are ultimately in charge of taking the right path.  
•   If you do not live with your Dominant, don't expect him to know when your bills are due, pay the rent, or solve your drippy faucet problem. (Your Dominant will admire that you took care of it so responsibly!) 4. Take care of your health. A Dominant expects a healthy submissive, one who cares about her body and mind. (No, this does not mean you have to be perfect, but you should be fit.)  
•  Don't be afraid to let your Dominant know when you are having a bad day. It's normal and happens to everyone. You should never have to worry that he will not understand, but neither should you make him into your own personal counselor.  
•  Listen to your gut. Most times, we avoid doing this as usually we are hearing something we would rather not believe, but putting off facing the truth, will only make for a longer, harder road to walk.  
• If you don't feel comfortable talking with your Dominant or a trustworthy friend, keep a journal. Track your own feelings and growth. Stagnancy is a killer.  
• Never forget that as you serve your Dominant, you should also feel just as special and treasured in return. D/s is a two way street, you should be getting back as much as your are putting forth. If this is not the case, do not be afraid to journey alone for a time. Submission is not made or broken by having a Dominant.  
• Be responsible for your own personal happiness. While our Dominants fulfill all those long non-addressed needs within ourselves to release control, serve to make another happy with our deeds, it does not mean we can stop looking inside, or that happiness is a given. We all make our own happiness, we shouldn't rely on any other to make it for us. If you are unhappy with yourself, there is really no way you will make a pleasing submissive, for any Dominant worth his salt will recognize it within you. While he can point you in the right direction and accompany you on the road to growth, at the end of the day, you are still in command of your ability to be happy or unhappy. It may not be an easy journey to find happiness, but the end result will always make the effort to grow and evolve a wonderful one.