Kink Quarterly : Issue 2

Second Issue of RIK is out. A Week late though we would like to blame rain gods for that. (even though we are not a print mag. LOL)

Articles

1. Hypnosis & BDSM - by PaleFace
2. Dominance, Submission & Switching - A Martial Artist's Perspective - by Mikhere
3. Self Bondage - by Alternatin
4. First Aid in BDSM Play Sessions - by Dr. Kink
5. MYO [make your own] - Floggers - by Aconite
6. Ask Dr Kink - Advise Column by Dr Kink
7. So Speaketh the Lawyer - Advise Column by Joywillingly
8. Within - by Tia69
9. The Infinite Dream - by Sunny sub
10. Kinkster in Focus - Kendra Holliday - by Steel_kink
11. RIK Munches - by Asmi
12. RIK Threads - by Asmi

Hypnosis & BDSM

Written by PaleFace

A fair number of people use hypnosis in this context or express curiosity in the erotic and BDSM applications of hypnosis. Paleface has shared with us an article on the same in which most of the article deals with general mechanisms; just the last part explores some of the erotic possibilities. That part according to the author is based on people's experiences and educated guesses.

 

INTRODUCTION - What is hypnosis?

There are many definitions but I like Dave Elman's the most and it states: hypnosis is the bypass of the critical factor of the mind and establishing of acceptable selective thinking.

 Critical factor (CF) is the judging, analysing, discerning part of the mind. The part that grows with time and experience and allows us to compare new experiences with old ones and thus makes judgements about new situations. In children with very limited experience and therefore undeveloped CF we can see a much higher level of suggestibility than in adults.

Interestingly enough no relaxation is mentioned and indeed it is not required. It requires a state of heightened suggestibility and as we have seen in the instance of children the two are not necessarily connected. Relaxation exercises are a nice, practical and comfortable way to do it, not the only way.

We might consider CF a gate keeper between the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind, bypassing which it is much easier to access deeper parts either to implant or retrieve information. This way we can establish acceptable selective thinking, which consists of elicit ideas, sensations and feelings the hypnotised person accepts. As the person is not unconscious his feelings of right or wrong and self preserving instincts are there. A person in hypnosis is always conscious (it would be just sleep otherwise) and able to accept or reject ideas, they can not be imposed, just accepted or not. They can be manipulated though, and that is not dependent on the trance state itself but can be incorporated in a wider process. You can not directly ask someone to do something opposed to hard ethical principles or what is perceived to be in her best interest, but like in everyday life you can always manipulate in the way to make something you want seem attractive and acceptable. It is not possible what it is often associated with it - controlling someone like doll while he is completely unconscious and does not remember it afterwards. That is mostly a fantasy; things are much more complex than that.

Hypnosis is actually a very natural and common state. It is one of the conditioning mechanisms that are the basis of learning - and that is something we do all the time, something the life is all about. Besides just consider how often we have typical "hypnotic" phenomena in everyday life. For example anaesthesia or amnesia is considered a sign of deep trance. States of typical relaxation induced direct hypnosis sessions could also be compared to daydreaming or the state just before falling asleep. But how often does it happen to everyone to get a cut or a bruise without noticing (because the mind was dissociated at the moment, focused on something else) or to get so absorbed while driving to miss an exit or to find himself at the destination in no time, not much aware of the automatic driving process (OK, I guess that's more difficult in the Indian traffic: p)?

We get into more suggestible states daily, which are basically to some degree hypnotic without being aware of it.  Those who are good at manipulating our beliefs like populist politicians, charismatic religious leaders or good sellers are indeed conscious or unconscious hypnotists. Actually of all these possible hyper-suggestible situations, classical direct hypnosis is the one where manipulation is most difficult as the subject knows what is going on and as we said it is a free choice to accept or reject a suggestion. When one does not know what is going on manipulation becomes much easier, indirect hypnosis is in that sense better than the direct one - when you are not aware that a suggestion is being placed there are no defences, so it is easier to abuse. An interesting topic on it's own but a complex one that would need a separate article if there is an interest, as it is sometimes used by sexual predators too.

So we are basically just consciously using (usually automatic) natural psychological mechanisms, nothing really mystical about it.

DANGERS AND PRECAUTIONS - is it safe?

It is generally very safe. Certainly it makes no sense for anyone who goes out on the street or drives a car to be concerned about something that has almost no reports of serious problems. The fears are in most cases just a product of popular fiction more than anything.

It has been already explained that the subject does not become unconscious and can not be ordered to do what is against their core values, as against a major and popular misconception. Another is that we don't remember afterwards what was going on. While amnesia is possible complete amnesia, it is not automatic most of the time and is not always easy to be controlled by design even when it is suggested and accepted.

Then some are concerned that they might get stuck in it and not get out. That has never happened in the known history. It is like being afraid you won't get up after going to sleep. States of consciousness are fluidly changing all the time; the challenge is to keep a certain state we need for a certain time, letting go of it is never a problem. If the hypnotist just shuts up and stops giving instructions it will fade soon on its own (unless he makes it clear it is part of the séance, but even than not indefinitely).

However one has to be careful about a few things as with every human activity after all. A very minor thing is a possible physical discomfort like a mild headache or dizziness, usually minimised by an appropriate emerging procedure but even than possible: lol:

Then consider an obviously careless use of suggestions (and careless acceptance of them). For an example if someone would like to use hypnosis to attach sexual excitement to driving and make a girl have orgasms in such a situation and she likes the idea and accepts it - well, that wouldn't be the safest thing in the world to do, isn't it?It is mostly just about bare minimum common sense without which even a chair might become a dangerous weapon.

The only possible problem inherent not in the stupidity or inexperience of the people involved but in the process itself is the spontaneous abreaction, automatic unsolicited reviving of some repressed traumas as soon as you enter a hypnotic state. It does not happen often and many hypnotists have never seen it, but from time to time it does and everyone planning to practice should be aware of it and what to do if it happens. Abreactions on their own are often used in therapy and evoked on purpose, so for those skilled in therapeutic use it is not a problem to deal with it. However if the hypnotist does not know what is going on and starts to panic it might be a nuisance, so as rare as it is it is better to know something about it before experimenting with hypnosis.

So with some minimal training and common sense it is perfectly safe.

EROTIC HYPNOSIS - some ideas

So finally the part all you pervs are waiting for: p
Well, we can look at the possibility for an erotic use in two ways. Some people have a mind control (MC) fetish and hypnosis might as a practice be a part of their fantasies. Otherwise it might be a tool to achieve certain sensations, feelings, attitudes or experiences.

- Hypnosis in a MC scenario

While hypnosis can not achieve a real control over someone as in MC fantasy stories, like with other role plays for those who desire to indulge in such fantasies it can be part of the game.

- Hypnosis as a tool

As hypnosis is a way of conditioning that can be quicker than classical conditioning it offers us the possibility of getting something quickly and sometimes to a point we otherwise find it difficult to achieve. For example if we want to get some orgasm control we might use conditioning through constant associating of a certain behaviour/feeling/sensation to an anchor (trigger), but might also get there with hypnosis in no time.

Thus it is up to imagination and interests, any physical sensation might be evoked and it does not have to be just sensual, it might be a feeling of a (physically non-existing) collar or restraints for an example.

Emotions can be evoked too. Someone is interested in rape play? Well it can be enhanced and made more realistic while still in a safe environment. Or other role-plays - for example being a "puppy" you might want to temporarily "forget" how to walk on two legs or use articulate language, to get more into the role... In age play one might even use regression to evoke some of the feelings and behaviours of a certain targeted age and than attach them to new circumstances. Or use emotions as part of the "punishment and reward" process; attach ecstatic feelings to something and bad feelings to something else? Easy!!!

These are just a few ideas as my goal was to give an introduction to the mechanism itself. Those more interested will easily find sources specifically dedicated to erotic hypnosis. And always keep in mind that if you want to use it you should get some training (in general hypnosis) first.

Dominance, Submission and Switching - A Martial Artist's Perspective

Written by Mikhere

D/s and alternative lifestyle has many facets. There are a lot of similarities in it with other arts, while of course there being differences too. This article deals with the many similar traits which Mikhere has observed are common to both BDSM and martial arts. In this, she looks  at BDSM from the point of view of a martial artist and goes on to explain the traits of dominance, submission and switching and the inherent dynamics of D/s as she has observed in the field of martial arts. She goes on to explain the different instances and aspects of both BDSM and martial arts in which this holds true.

As a person who is into both BDSM as well as martial arts, I feel really fascinated by the D/s aspect of martial arts. I have come to observe that these two styles have a lot in common and this is especially true with regard to the aspects of dominance, submission and switching as in martial arts, I witness a very clear cut case of these three aspects.

When one begins to learn martial arts, they start with a white belt which I feel is excessively similar to starting off as a submissive in a D/s relationship. The absolute compliance and obedience required in martial arts is very much similar to the submission in a BDSM context.  In the Dojo, whether you want to do something or not, you WILL do it without questioning because the Sensei (teacher) instructed you to do it and how many repetitions of the technique you do again depends upon his will and wish. This is extremely similar to the Master asking his submissive in a BDSM relationship to do something and the submissive honoring him by obeying him. Once the class starts, you do not speak in the Dojo unless you are given permission to do so. This is seen in BDSM sessions where you do not speak unnecessarily unless given permission to do so. The sitting in the seiza posture and bowing to your Sensei before the class commences, whenever the Sensei teaches theory and also at the end of the class, is similar to the submissive kneeling before her Master which again is a widely prevalent practice in BDSM.

Both D/s and martial arts deal with the transfer of power and both operate within a defined set of power equations in a relationship and submission is voluntary in both the contexts and both follow the principles of safe, sane and consensual. In martial arts, even though lethal techniques of both attacking and defense are taught, it is done so in an atmosphere of extreme safety and even if the practitioners do fight with each other in order to perfect their techniques, this only results in either a slight discomfort or pain and the person who receives the attack does not experience any lasting damage as extreme safety and caution is exercised so as to not harm the opponent in any permanent way. This again reminds me of the care and safety executed by the Dom in a D/s scenario. This ensures that even when activities which have a potential to cause permanent damage to the sub are being practiced, it is done so in a setting in which extreme caution is exercised by the Dom. This way even though the sub experiences a certain level of discomfort or pain, it does not harm the sub in any permanent way. There is an inherent trust involved in both activities and the resulting effect of deep emotional bonding applies to both these styles.

In martial arts, when the Sensei instructs/corrects you or commands you, you say "Hai Sensei" in Japanese language, which when translated in English, literally means, "Yes Master" which again is a very common practice seen in the D/s lifestyle.

Absolute obedience and compliance is required in martial arts. If you fail to obey, then you would be punished and irrespective of whether you like it or not, you still surrender yourself to the punishment. This is also seen in BDSM where punishments are meted out when the submissive fails to comply or willfully disobeys the Master. In both the cases, once the punishment has been meted out, then all is forgiven.

In martial arts, many rituals are present and there are many symbolic meanings attached to these rituals. This is seen in the seiza posture, the bowing, the way you receive your black belt etc, This can be seen even in BDSM where there are many rituals which have significant symbolic meanings.
A martial arts student, even when physically and mentally exhausted after a long session of practice and wants nothing more than to just stop and relax, still keeps pushing his/her limits through sheer will power and does not stop unless commanded to do so. This again is similar to how a submissive behaves in a serious session of BDSM when his/her Master is pushing her physical and mental limits.
While doing martial arts, I have noticed this head space I am in. It is a place where you completely trust your teacher to the extent that you surrender to him physically and mentally and allow him to take control and that is a moment when you are aware of nothing except what is happening at that very moment and you hear nothing except your Sensei’s voice commanding you and you don’t even think twice before obeying. It is such absolute surrender that even the most difficult of tasks or the anticipation of the pain/exertion fails to deter/intimidate you; and the only thing you are intent on is carrying out the order to the best of your ability in spite of the pain or discomfort. Whether you actually succeed/ complete the task is immaterial. You do it to the best of your ability and put in your hundred percent effort and more. This head space is not something which I experience every time I practice martial arts. I have experienced this only a few times so far and that too only when the intensity of the training session is really high and you really open up your mind. In a D/s scenario, the submissive goes into a headspace which in BDSM terminology is known as subspace. While in subspace, the only thing they are aware of is the extent of their submission and while in this space, they surrender themselves completely to their Dom. Then it is the Dom who decides what happens while the session lasts and the submissive complies with the Dom’s decisions and while in this head space, even pain feels pleasurable.

In the case of martial arts, there is an extremely intimate emotional bonding with the Sensei and this bonding is not limited to the boundaries of a class or practice session and this spills over into the other aspects of a student’s life where the Sensei is a person you look up to and confide in and who is a sort of a mentor to you in various aspects of your life and a positive force. The Sensei has the right or power to question the student about any aspect of his/her life and correct the behavior. Isn’t this what happens in a D/s relationship where the emotional bonding and intimacy is so intense that the Dom is a beacon of positive force in the sub’s life and is a person the sub looks up to for instruction and guidance? In both the instances, there is the case of intimate emotional bonding and a certain fear which is born out of trust and respect. 

It is not always work and no play. Sometimes, whenever the situation permits it, I tend to be very mischievous in martial arts class and well; some of the senior black belts actually call me a “spoilt brat”. Even in BDSM, the sub being naughty and bratty at times is sort of endearing to the Dom and there are some subs who love being called as “brats”.
In martial arts, the beginner receives instruction as a submissive until enough skill is gained and then the submissive is trained to exhibit the characteristics of a dominant through the process of training other students of lower ranks.

I am more like a Dominant when I am handling a martial arts class. During this time, I am very confident of myself and my ability to control the students. I am really headstrong and generally very much in control of myself and very patient. I know the thrill of being on a high during handling an advanced martial arts class for young men who are almost my age and even elder to me. What happens in those 2-3 hours is completely under my control, how I train them, how I challenge them, how I push them and at the same time realize when they have reached their limits. It is under my control to realize that they are experiencing either physical or mental fatigue and hence, make sure that it is time for me to give them a break. I unleash their power in a way I want them to and sometimes yes, I punish them if the situation deems it necessary. I realize when to be stern and when to be gentle with them. I also realize when pushing their limits is ok and when it is not ok to do that, This is precisely how a Dom behaves in a D/s setting. The sub’s safety is of top priority.  He constantly checks on the sub’s well being in a D/s setting and gives a break to the sub if necessary. He is even willing to stop the scene if the situation demands it.

 Martial arts have also got many switch aspects. It seems to me that in martial arts one starts off as a submissive and once a certain level of proficiency in the art is achieved, through teaching, they become a dominant. However, even when the person has reached a stage where he/she is in a position of dominance, submission is still the key in this growth since one is still a student and submissive to their higher ranks and black belts. At this point the student becomes a switch. They have to be capable of both submitting to the will of the upper ranks in order to learn and improve, and at the same time, they must also be capable of taking charge and being dominant to the lower ranks through teaching them and switch back and forth between these roles depending on who they are interacting with. Many times, in class, I have experienced this. I would be instructing students of lower ranks and giving those commands and the moment my Sensei or any of the senior black belts walks up to me, I bow to them and I am ready to to submit and obey their command. This is me switching between dominance and submission.

I see a lot of kinky traits in martial arts simply because they tend to involve physical pain along with dominance, submission and switching and as a martial artist, I am comfortable and experienced in all these roles and I am sure that in the context of BDSM, if I were ever to try these three different roles, I would be successful in all of them. There were even times when I wondered whether my fascination, interest and association with martial arts has actually sparked the inexplicable fascination I feel towards BDSM, especially towards the dynamic of D/s.

However, this wondering of mine is a recent phenomenon as when I realized my attraction towards BDSM, especially at the nascent stage, my only reaction was bewilderment and shock and at that time, I could not realize the close connection between the two styles about which I feel fascinated a lot. But with time, understanding and interaction came acceptance and once I accepted this part of myself, I started realizing how similar is D/s to martial arts and as this connection between the two gradually became apparent to me, it actually caused me to embrace this side of myself more and I no longer felt ashamed of this part of myself as to me D/s is no different than martial arts.

I am NOT saying that they are one and the same. I very well realize that as much as there are similarities, there are innumerable differences. I am just saying that because I had been so involved with martial arts for many years, the many similar traits in both D/s and martial arts do make me accept my submissive side as now D/s feels familiar to me without making me feel helplessly lost in an unknown world. In spite of the natural comfort levels I feel with regard to dominance, submission as well as switching, in BDSM, I am neither a Dominant nor a switch as I am attracted more towards submission because I consciously chose to be a submissive. For the simple reason that this an intimate space in my life where I can relinquish control and responsibility voluntarily and feel owned and cherished by giving power and control over me to another person who is of integrity and character. In most of the other aspects of my life, I always need to lead, take charge and control and all this has got a way of exhausting me thus making me yearn to experience a meaningful D/s relationship and wanting to submit to a person I chose and trust and in a space comfortable for me.

This is my experience and my experience only. I have come this far, realized and accepted this additional dimension of myself……however….still a long way to go…..

Kinkster in Focus - Kendra Holliday

She's been fired for writing about her sex life, she likes hairy chests and she's an author, a sex consultant and a vegeterian! Kendra aka The Beautiful Kind lets us in, on coming out in the open and being 'open and honest' about it all! RIK with out blabbering on here's a li'l conversation I had with one of the most dynamic, sexually positive I've come across. Folks - Kendra Holliday!

 

Steel Kink: Hi Kendra, tell us a little about you - your hobbies, fetishes and anything more you'd like us to know! It's a few fortunate ones in India who know about you.

Kendra: I am a 38 yr old mom who is fully integrated. By fully integrated, I mean I am able to be out about who I am. I have actively shed the guilt and shame that society has tried to place on me in order to keep me subdued. I am a goddess. To me, a goddess is a woman who is in touch with her slut side AND her mother side. I am vegetarian, love to read, and enjoy all the sensual beauty in our world. I practice responsible hedonism. I love facing my fears and trying new things. Every time I conquer a fear, I become more powerful. Sex is my #1 passion, and a hairy chest is my #1 fetish!

SK: How did TBK come in to play and what is the motive behind a blog like The Beautiful Kind? Also, tell us about the people behind your website.

Kendra: I started The Beautiful Kind as a blog five years ago, and it has evolved from a place for me to brag about my sex life into a sex-positive community magazine. My daughter inspired the name; when she was five, she mused, "What kind of people are we, Mommy?" The questions caught me off guard, so I replied, "Oh, I don't know, what do you think?" And she declared, "We are The Beautiful Kind!" Why, yes we are! We ALL are! The new site launches on June 11, I'm so excited!

Right now Team TBK consists of me, my amazingly talented WebMaster, and my partner, Matthew. He is confident enough with himself as a man to allow and encourage women to be strong. When women are happy, the men benefit.

SK: Tell us a little more about your e-book - The Book of Goddess - which is available for free download

Kendra: Yes, you can download my ebook for free at www.thebookofgoddess.com. The Book of Goddess is in response to all the people who asked me, "How did you get so confident and fulfilled?" I wrote it for women as a tool for them to learn how to be comfortable in their own skin as sexual creatures, but many men have read it and learned a thing or two from it, as well!

SK: You just went from being a long haired bomb-shell to a bald siren (I still can't decide which look I like better) - fill us in on that episode of your life.

Kendra: I mentioned earlier that I enjoy facing my fears. Well, I dared myself to shave my head, and I did it! It has proven to be an enlightening social experiment, and I am SO glad I did it! I love all my different looks and feel so sexy. My new site shares stories and pictures about it. I wondered what I would look like bald, and if it would hurt my self-esteem or disgust my partner. I've been pleasantly surprised by the whole thing, and plan on shaving my head again later this month. It grows so fast!

SK: You came out of the closet (so to speak), tell us a little about that (why? what sparked that off and when did you know you just had to do it?

Kendra: I was blogging anonymously for four years, never putting my face or name to the racy words and pictures. When I got fired from a job about a year ago for having the site (they found out about it through a technical glitch), I thought long and hard about my situation. My philosophy is "be open and honest," and I decided that in order for me to be truly open and honest, I needed to fully own my mission and put my face and name to all the words I had been sharing. It was scary, and I had to deal with some serious backlash, including my ex-husband suing me for full custody of my daughter. Sadly, there are people like my ex who regard me as sub-human, not fit for employment or to be around children. Still, I do not regret coming out, and encourage others to follow suit on their own terms. The more people who come forward, the sooner society will have to accept that we are sexually creative creatures and that is nothing to be afraid of.


SK: How are you coping with the fact that you are out n the open now?

Kendra: Sure I have plenty of haters who fear and loathe me, but honestly I was surprised at how many LOVERS I have. I have way more lovers than haters! I'm so grateful for the respect and admiration I've gained from coming out. I can't believe I have fans and an international following just because I am being myself and encourage others to do the same.

SK: Tell us about your newly launched Sex-Positive St. Louis. Also, tell us more about your sex consultancy.

Kendra: I live in the Midwest, which is a pretty conservative area right in the middle of the U.S. The East and West coasts are so progressive in comparison, and I wanted to build a bridge over the conservative chasm that is separating the nation. So, I founded Sex Positive St Louis with three other forward thinkers, and it has really taken off! We host several events a month and act as an educational outlet and community resource. You can visit the site www.sexstl.com to find out more of what we're all about.

I also offer personal sex and relationship consulting, which is where I help people work through their issues and explore their sexuality. I can meet with people in person, on phone, or via skype. More information can be found at www.beopenandhonest.com

SK: What are some of your future plans? We've heard about the new website, what more...???

Kendra: After the new site launches June 11, I'll be traveling to Toronto next week to present at ideaCity with the likes of Deepak Chopra and Christopher Ryan, the author of Sex at Dawn! This will be a defining moment in my career!
http://www.ideacityonline.com/upcoming-ideacity/upcoming-presenters/
http://www.ideacityonline.com/presenters/kendra-holliday/

I also have a new show that runs weekly online! You can view past shows here:
http://www.iwatchradio.com/archives/viewcategory/16/entertainment?limitstart=10

I'm working on a book proposal about my headshaving called "Rapunzel's Razor" that will answer the loads of questions I've been getting about it. People are fascinated by the subject, and with good reason! It's amazing how normal it is to see men with shaved heads all over the place, but a woman with a shaved head is shocking.

I want to release a 2nd edition of The Book of Goddess and have ideas for several other ebooks, including one on fetishes and one detailing the early courtship of my electric, BDSM relationship.

I'll continue working with medical students as an Alternative Lifestyle Advisor and Gynecological Teaching Associate. I'll also keep offering consulting whenever I can.

I'll be appearing in Hustler magazine this fall, as well as speaking at various conferences that range from blogging to kinky lifestyles.

I very much hope justice prevails and I receive a fair judgement on my custody case. My daughter is the most important person in my life, and I want to continue being a positive influence for her. I am a great mom, and I'm raising her to be open, honest, and sex-positive. I'm teaching her that she is in charge of her body and future. I'm equipping her with tools to make good choices for herself. Like everyone else, she deserves happiness and healthy relationships. I accept her for who she is and love her unconditionally. She returns that respect to me, which feels so good.

SK: Lastly, a few words of wisdom for us Indian Kinksters...

Kendra: I have a motto: Think outside the cage. I realize that India is even more conservative than where I live, and that stepping outside the cage can get you in serious trouble, but progress needs to be made in accepting others for who they are, and the only way to do that is for everyone to stand up and declare who they are. Of course that will not happen overnight, but a brave few can get the ball rolling by taking baby steps and at least unlock the cage and open the door a bit.

True happiness can only come from being fully integrated. Society wants to control us, so there is pressure to conform and live in fear and compartmentalize ourselves. It takes real courage to push past that barrier and live life on your own terms. Some won't like it, but others will be secretly cheering you on. You'll be doing it for yourself AND for them, and someday, your bravery may allow others to follow suit, and they will have you to thank for their newly discovered happiness. Being out about who you are comes with a price, but it is worth it. I may not have much money, but I am free, and that is invaluable.

The Infinite Dream

Written by Sunny Sub


I heard my heart,
Slip through it's place,
all the way down,
when you left me..

I hurt my heart.
when you said you had to leave,
It slumped down,
down in the world of darkness and gloom

I wait for you,
Today, Everyday,
To see you, to hear you,
To admire the beauty of you

I know we can't be together
We are not made for each other,
Not together, never,
Yet Longing for each other

Far apart,
Yes we are,
Yet we dare to dream
Dare to share the dream
Love that dream

Though that can't be real
Won't be real
Hurts us, leaves us longing
hoping that, if only
if only it were real.

Self Bondage

Contributed by Alternatin

Self-bondage is the practice of sexual bondage without a partner. In India while finding partner to indulge in BDSM is difficult- self bondage has given the users like me momentary satisfaction. Self Bondage literally means tying or otherwise restraining oneself for the purpose of psychological/sexual pleasure. The idea of self-bondage can also be extended by using release mechanisms to restrain two (or more) people for a period which they cannot control. As self-bondage is usually performed alone, it has several distinctive features not present in conventional bondage.

One should keep this in mind that self bondage is …

•  riskier
• requires reliable release mechanisms (with a delay)
• requires techniques for binding oneself

These added challenges and dangers heighten the appeal of self-bondage for many of its practitioners, who often take pride in devising elaborate self-bondage schemes and release mechanisms (both in reality and in erotic fiction).

Deaths due to Self Bondage

Self-bondage is considered a higher-risk activity —particularly when combined with autoerotic asphyxia—and has led to many recorded deaths. The death in 1994 of Stephen Milligan, the British Conservative MP for Eastleigh, was a case of autoerotic asphyxiation combined with self-bondage, and rumors persist that it was also the cause of death of rock singer Michael Hutchence and actor David Carradine.

Self-bondage has all the risks of physical restraint, with the fact that most of the times should anything go wrong, there is no-one to come to a rescue.  if blood circulation cuts off sensation in hands/fingers, untying knots later becomes impossible which may be your release mechanism.

How to make self bondage safer 

• Avoid anything that might hamper breathing, for instance restraints on the chest or neck, or gags that chokes
•  Use several release mechanisms as backup. If one doesn’t work, you can rely on another.
•  Make sure that you can call someone if needed, or pre-arrange for someone to check at a specified time
•  Avoid anything that can cause hands/feet to go numb or cut off circulation, such as excessively tight ropes
•  Go slow. One step at a time. complexity of the bondage can wait till you are sure of your Houdini tricks of getting out of bondage at a time.
•   Don’t drink and drive. Avoid substances that might impair judgement, such as alcohol, drugs.
•  Spend only small amounts of time per bondage session. No long duration bondage. Some people enjoy overnight bondage but it should be done knowing all its risks.

Types of Self Bondage

There are two types of self bondage. Strict and sensual.

Sensual bondage is the kind which has more freedom. The player is 100% sure of getting himself out of ropes or cuffs with slipknots and key which is kept within reach. It’s for the fun of enjoying restriction for a while that participants engage in the sensual bondage.

Strict self-bondage, the kind I like, mean that the release from it is unavailable for a certain period of time and the person must remain in bondage until the release mechanism is activated, regardless of whether or not they would voluntarily continue. Although strict self-bondage is definitely more dangerous, some practice it for the feeling of defenselessness [ disclaimer - Strict Self-Bondage is only practiced by those experienced in BDSM, Self-Bondage as a whole can be quite dangerous if you're ill-equipped and uninformed of what you're doing].

You can also set up a middle ground in between strict and sensual. The method is to use a backup release mechanism that is available right away, but carries with it some penalty or cost with its use. For example, keys of the handcuffs could be placed in glass full of Karela [bitter gourd] Juice. The person in self-bondage can escape quickly if necessary, in emergency. Nevertheless, the displeasure of drinking bitter gourd juice may coerce the person into waiting for the main release mechanism to come into effect if they were merely bored or uncomfortable.

Release Mechanism Ideas
Many release mechanisms are used in self-bondage to allow the practitioner to escape the restraints after a period of time. There should always be more than one mechanism available for release, for safety. Practitioners have devised many new ideas but the basic two are as below.

•  Slip Knots: If you’re going to be practicing Rope Bondage be sure to learn knots that allow you to escape by pulling on a release rope end.
•  Ice: In Lock & Key Bondage Ice can be used as a ‘vault’ mechanism. The key can be hung in water in a cup or ice cube tray and then placed in the freezer. The length of the session is then determined by the time it takes for the ice to melt. Only when ice melts that you get the key.

It is important to keep in mind that self bondage should be safe at all times. While often we enjoy experiencing pain for pleasure it’s important to keep a firm grip on reality. While pushing one’s self to test our own boundaries, it can also end lives. Because too often we're not aware we're over the edge until we begin to fall.

RIK Threads

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First Aid in BDSM Play Sessions

Kinksters, especially those who are into pain, bondage or playing with objects, need a first aid guide on hand. In this special, brief article our panelist Dr. Kink describes a few things that can go wrong in a session and what you can do to have safe and sexy fun, without the fear of lasting damage.

The human body is amazing in its ability to be tough and soft at the same time. The pain/pleasure twins add a mental dimension to play. However it is imperative that one knows that limits that you can push, especially since its often your partner who suffers. The disconnect between your brain and their body can sometimes unintentionally create trouble.


Most often, both as a Dom and as a Doctor I have faced the following types of injuries, I detail the immediate attention needed as first aid, for minor injuries. As always use common sense, do remember we docs are your friends, even if we wrinkle our noses at you, and what ever type of body or body part you have, we have seen it.


Skin breaks, contusions minor bleeds from spanking, flogging or whipping: clean the wound with water and soap, apply light pressure to stop light bleed. If you notice a deeper bruise or puffiness consult a doctor.Do not apply over the counter creams or prescription ointment. A better alternative is to dust with Antibiotic powder (like neosproin). keep the area uncovered.


Ligatures or burns from bondage, rope play, handcuffs etc. Look out for discoloration or tingling, loosen immediately if any evidence of tingling or sharp pain found. Apply an ice pack, do not put ice directly on the wound. place ice in a plastic cover to make a home made pack.


Bleed from insertions into vagina or rectum- remove insertion, try lying with feet raised for 10 mins and see if bleeding stops. If you can see the source of the bleed (like skin cuts) you can wait for it to stop, again dust with antibiotic powder, do not apply any kind of cream


Ringing sounds in the ear from slapping, lie down immediately on the opposite side of the slap, if slapped on on both sides than lie down on your back with no pillow. do not press or pressure the ear. Ringing should stop in 5~8 minutes. do not walk around as you will be unbalanced.


Light Skin burn from heat, wax, etc. : Wash with cold water, if the skin blisters then you need better attention. do not burst the blister or apply things like burnol,


However, I repeat again, these are just guidelines. They are not a substitute to qualified professional help, in case it is required. So, please if it does not work, visit a doctor immediately. And most importantly, it is always best to play responsibly and safely.

So Speaketh the Lawyer

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RIK Munches

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Ask Dr Kink

Dear Readers,

Safe, sane and consensual (SSC) is a widely accepted norm in the BDSM community. Another is RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). To facilitate the awareness about risks involved in various activities and fetishes, we at RIK have made a humble effort with the expert assistance of our panelist, Dr. Kink.

In this column, we will take up 1-3 queries in each issue, based on the details of the answers. If you have any queries related to medical aspects of kink, you are invited to send your queries either to rikzine@gmail.com or else on http://fetlife.com/groups/1535/group_posts/1422697.

Disclaimer: Advice given here is with best intent and should not be taken as gospel; you should use your commonsense too. In emergency cases, please contact your nearest hospital.

 *********************************************

Query: Dr. Kink, Please advise me about anal insertions. I would like to know what are the basic precautions, how much safe is it to insert balls, objects etc. into anus??And what are the safe ways?? Also, please advise me about the relevant precautions.

Curious-and-careful

Dr. Kink: Dear Curious-and-careful,

Thank you for your query. Anal insertion is one of the most common practices and can go hazardously wrong, if not practiced with proper safety measures in mind. Here’s a brief guide. But, please remember this is not the A-Z. Please do use common sense.

Anal Insertions - some basic rules :

• Do not force it on anyone. Remember the foundation rule of consent? J
• Keep the anal area clean before play, wash the outside with mild soap and water, use the toilet and loo before anal play.
• Use unbreakable objects only and please use only blunt objects. This means no glass or hard edged plastic or metal. Inspect the object for uneven surfaces, protrusions breaks etc before insertion. If using metallic objects, wash them thoroughly with soap and water before use. Do not use them if there is evidence of rust. On non ferrous objects (objects made of metals other than iron) note any discoloration etc. do not use anything with paint.
• If you’re using small objects, then use a retrieval string a la tampons; the contractions in the rectal area can easily take the object in and would involve probing or surgery to take out. This goes for ben wa balls, anal dilators etc. Many professionally made insertions have a stoppage ring or plate to prevent the object being sucked in. The worst case I know of is small electrical bulbs that went all the way into the colon.
• No corrosives - no batteries, no candles, no shampoo, soap etc. They simply do not belong there, not even as a turn on.
• Lube Lube Lube!!!!  Water based gels are usually the best (KY is the best) do not use any oil even baby oil (It’s essentially mineral oil), cream, butter etc.
• If there is persistent pain stop!!! Immediately !!!
• Do not use pipe, tubes etc
• Do not pump, push any liquid into the anus, can cause bowel perforation and uncontrolled bleeding No organic stuff (veggies) if you really want to use them then sheath them in a condom
• Enema play - do not repeat enemas in less then 12 hrs, in fact do not use soap/water enemas, sterilized pre-filled enemas are available in the market.
• If used in the anus, avoid contact with vagina/mouth after use, this goes for male genitals too. In simpler words, if anything (even a penis) in the anus, it shouldn't go inside the mouth and the vagina.
• If you are using a condom, remember every lubricant damages latex except water based gels like KY
• HIV is not the only threat, HPV, Hepatitis C and A and Escherichia Coli, along with MRSA are equally deadly
• If there is bleeding, and you can see the cut/abrasion then clean the area with savlon/dettol and do not apply pressure or dressing allow it to clot naturally
• If there is bleeding and you cant see the source, make the sub lie down with feet in a raised position, preferably with a couple of pillows under the butt. Bleeding should stop in a about 30 minutes. If it doesn’t, go to an emergency room immediately.
• Do not use ultra thin condoms in anal sex, preferably use standard thickness ones.
• Leather in anal play: Many people argue that leather is natural and hence it should not be a problem inserting leather objects in the anus. However, it is not the leather that is the problem, but the chemicals used in tanning and curing of leather that cause damage on rectal tissue (often they are chrome, mercury and sulfur). Naturally tanned (i.e. organic leather products) products can be used freely.
• Please remember anal play is one of the most stimulating of all sex acts, responsible players care for both the sub and themselves. So, play safe and play well !!!

Dr. Kink

MYO [ Make your own ] : Floggers

Written by Aconite

A flogger is basically made of two parts

• Long tassels OR Tails
  
• Handle
  

First, let’s talk about tips of the tails. They are the most important in a flogger and rightly so. Remember this bit of information - The end of tails when coming into contact of skin, if very thin, can cut through. For safety issues, the ends should always be rounded, as in, the tails should have large surfaces at the end. For easy understanding, think of knives. A knife that has a big and a dull edge is not as damaging as the one with sharp thin edge. The same way keep in mind the desired width of the whole tail. A tail with a lesser width will "sting" [sharp lash] . And a tail with thicker width will be heavy and it will give more of a "thud" [dull thwack]. For newbies who are learning the pleasures of flogging for the first time, a wide tailed flogger is advisable!

Second part of the flogger design is the number of tails in a flogger. Higher the number of tails, slower is the flogger's speed of flight through air. Smaller number of tails makes the flogger fast and more damaging. Length of a tail is also very important for leverage. A flogger becomes hard to control because of its weight or lack thereof. Newbies should stick to the standard measures for safety and controlled practice. Length of the tail: 20 inches, number of tails: 20-25.

Third part is the quality of tails. Flogger effects also changes with materials. You can use different kinds of material for different 'feels' or sensations.

• Silk, as a fabric used in making tails, can be used to make washable flogger which has light sensations, for the starters.
  
• The nylon ones would be a little heavy, with better sensations, yet still will be on the lighter side if you're dealing with a masochist. They are also washable, inexpensive, and different weights of nylon cords are readily available to create more than one flogger.
  
• The Suede, as in leather ones, are harder than above. Many normal floggers you see being used at most places are made from various suede tails. Inexpensive, simple leather floggers have thud or sting depending on shape of the tail/tip. It may leave lasting marks on the skin if swung sharply.
  
• Rubber has flexibility. It stings more than thuds, and also leaves immediate marks. Simple to clean, but harsh on use.
  
• Horsehair tails have a worst sting with no thud, deep sensation of a very intense pain. Possible to break skin if used without trying on pillows/foam cases to gauge its power. It creates effective sting even at a light touch. Its high maintenance and precautions are required. It’s a dangerous one to start if you're very new to the use of flogger.

Handle of the flogger – you can use a piece of either plastic or wood to attach the tails OR join all the tails with a few knots by the braid technique or macramé technique. A good covering knot will help reduce this strain, and keep the tails together. The handle, either made of wood or plastic, or anything else, should be neither too large nor small for a proper grip, and a small knot at the end will prevent accidental slipping through the hands. Short handles are better for control, longer handles provide more leverage. Newbies should start with shorter ones.

Now that I’ve shared the theory of making/using a flogger, let me share with you a few of my handmade samples.

Light weight artificial suede material is used to make tails of this flogger. I cut the material into same size strips and glued them together circular around a small cylindrical piece of wood. At the end, I wrapped a piece of white rope around the handle for a better grip. The material is so very soft so to make the flogger more effective I added more tails and sharpen the tips. This flogger has thudding effect because of its weight.

This is a pure cotton rope flogger – made with a use of braiding technique. I used 16 strands of same length pieces of rope and braided them together in 4x4 strands technique. After covering 1/3 of length I put a stopping knot and let the tails free. 16 strands are not that heavy so to make it more effective I added small knots at the tip of tails which gives the dull stinging effect.

This one is made from plastic clothes lines. I cut 7 long pieces of rope and folded them in half. Just below the fold, I used another piece of plastic rope to wrap around and bind it tight. Later I burned all the end of ropes so that they melt and fix together creating a super-glue effect. I also burned tip of the tails to create some weight at the end and in return the flogger just became deadly. Powerful in its sting, this flogger is for intermediate users.

This one is a pure leather flogger. A regular cobbler was instructed to make this one and all the technicalities were discussed. Leather has been cut into flat pieces and glued to a piece of long wood. Then more leather was glued to cover the wood handle and create a grip. The tips of tails have knots which add to weight and sting of the flogger. This flogger can cut skin if not used carefully.

Within

Written by Tia69

Waves that ebb through realms of darkness
No blade, no pins, no pain can scathe
Silence like the endless ether
No sighs or moans, nor screams can break
Faded hues of gold and white
No brown or yellow, nor red does stain
A silken touch of velvet feathers
No surface cuts or scabs can rake
A whispered wish of ancient tales
That rides upon the ruling hand
The secret truths of all things real
No hurt or fear, nor love can stake