This time around, I decided to take a walk into the deep, dark yet colorful life of our very own – RIK board member – Asmi. Read on, as she spills the beans on everything what gets her off to what she thinks is essential for being a total normal human being.
SK: Hi Asmi, even though you're on the RIK Ezine board (So to speak), tell us about yourself (Fetishes, kinks, curiosities, your hobbies and anything more you’d like us to know).
Asmi: Hi Steel Kink, Thanks for interviewing me even though I'm on the RIK Ezine Team.
To be honest, I am a curious mind (multi-faceted to say the least), so my hobbies, fetishes, kinks, curiosities and the rest range across a diverse span. From erotica to spirituality, from beading & Jewelry-making to teaching, reading, writing, singing, interacting with people and much more.
The same goes for my fetishes & kinks. I am practically (in terms of physical experience) a novice, rather a virgin in the sense that I have almost zero experience. So, I will be able to tell you more on the lines of what interests me.
Gor never resonated to me as role-play. It was something I carried off screen with me and that is perhaps One of my Dominant Friends recently said - "Asmi is a Gorean at Heart".
I guess I had already figured out that there were two paths to submission - religious and non-religious. After playing around with religious submission for quite some time, I discovered that wasn't for me. In non-religious submission, I found Gor closest to my heart, so I guess that's from where my love for TPE, discipline, structures evolved.
So, after around six years of toying around with lifestyle in my head; I am mainly interested in TPE, (ONLY after a long interaction and time spent with the Dominant in question), control, discipline and structure. I am a stickler for analysis, re-analysis and lots of thought process before I jump into things. So, I guess sapio-sexuality would be next.
Corporal pain and Gor form the next two important subsets. Rest, I'm open to trying. Of course, I do have limits, so those taken care of, I'm pretty much open to trying everything and anything.
SK : You've been inactive as Asmi and you've been protected by your guardian angel - Sara Fina. Tell us a little about her. How's she different from Asmi? What gets her off?
Asmi : Well, I really haven't been inactive :)
It's just that life in general is moving on a roller coaster, job hopping, city hopping and the rest has consumed much of my time of late, added to the usual lack of machine and internet connection at times.
As far as Sara goes - well that's my way of expressing my stronger side. Now it could be a matter of debate whether Asmi is weak or does she see her sub side as weak? No, absolutely not. Asmi is strong, but finds it difficult to vocalize it. Sara is strong and capable of vocalizing it as well. So, Sara becomes the mouth piece in times of need.
At no time, is Sara a Dominant. Consider her more like a trainer/mentor in the larger scene of life.
SK: How did you come about being a kinkster? What instigated it? What's your earliest memory of you being involved in the concept of kinks (let alone BDSM)?
Asmi: I do not really self-identify as a kinkster. I am more of a submissive. I used the word submissive for myself for the first time, when I was 18. I didn't know the implications of the word then of course. I meant it in a simple manner. But, in retrospect, I was always the good girl who wished she was treated like the bad ones :)
I first discovered the terms and acronyms of BDSM when I was 22 after a breakup from an alpha-type vanilla guy. It was an LDR and of a duration of about 1.5 year. So, in order to distract myself, watching porn was recommended and that gradually took me to a BDSM website eventually. Curiosity killed the cat and I was hooked on to google and wikipedia and then yahoo chat rooms.
I came across Gor in my very initial days, moved to IRC, explored life there and then through 'Collar-me', I landed up on FL to find RIK. And it was then that I started discussing and exploring myself better through interactions.
SK: There have been speculations and rumors of people (not mentioning them, well me included) of tying you down to a table and giving you your much awaited birthday treat, please tell us RIKians what gets us people wanting us to do that to you? :)
Asmi: ROFL,Well I certainly do not know what exactly gets you people wanting to do that to me :P. But am sure part of it is to see me naked, part of it to teach me what spanking is and part of it is to educate me about bondage.
But am sure there are motives I can't see through, harmless and innocent as they might be :P
SK: You've been pretty vocal about your love for Delhi, what brings you to Delhi so much?
Asmi: Delhi has been my love since 2006. Partly because this is the only place apart from my native town that I have lived in. Partly because this was the first place that taught me what absolute freedom and absolute responsibility meant. It is a place that gives me a sense of aspirations, ambitions, dreams, and what not.
I guess, it's also because I've been in close though long distance interaction with most of my RIK friends who are mostly in Delhi. So, perhaps that is also an additional bond.
But more than everything, Delhi is a city that showed to me the trust my family put in me at a time, when I least expected but most deserved and needed it. I will not relate the incident here, but that sense of power and pride that comes with that sort of trust, is something that Delhi holds a symbol for me.
SK: Your dopple-ganger is being mentored by Aconite, tell us more about that.
Asmi: Something I guess my Dopple-ganger or Aconite would be able to tell you better :P But, I guess, it's more like Sara Fina interacting with a person and a friend I've gradually grown to love and cherish. And perhaps Sara_Fina found Aconite, someone whom sara could learn a bit from :)
SK: Politics seem to follow you around where ever you go and in what ever you do. Do you look back at it and thinks it funny or do you contemplate spanking the shit out of them?
Asmi: Politics is an integral part of life I guess Steel Kink. Call it a social construct or a political one, the moment there are more than two people interacting, the politics and lobby-ism WILL happen, unless the needs of every party are fully met. I personally doubt that, though am sure there will be people who will vehemently and logically oppose it.
I guess politics also by default follows those who are vocal. But that again is not really politics but reaction. And that I believe, is normal. So, most of the times it doesn't really bother me. At times, politics happens when you're not understood properly or cannot communicate properly.
So, in answer to your question, if logical, I accept the politics as gracefully as I can. If illogical and petty, I tend to laugh; but if illogical, unfair and detrimental to my life/relationships I cherish online and offline, I do at times feel like spanking shit out of some people who do that.
SK: In the last few months, Asmi has had a session with a psychotherapist, relocated and have a new job now in Delhi. Has this affected your kink life? and if so how?
Asmi: This hasn't affected my kink life Steel. I am still the same person. No session, no sex-before-the marriage-types. But yes, I do understand certain things about me better than before.So, I guess that has brought me more in harmony with my kink.
SK: What are some of your future plans? Do we see Sara Fina or Asmi becoming a prominent figure in society?
Asmi: Yes and no. Depends on which society are you talking about. I do have some goals, dreams and aspirations in life. So, If they get realized yes, you might see Asmi or Sara as a prominent figure. At the same time, if prominence in society takes a toll over my personal life in any manner, I'd be more than happy to lie low and be inconspicuous :) It is simply a matter of priorities and value I attach to different things in life.
SK: What's your advice to the jerks out there? and more importantly what's your advice to kinksters who are just joining FL and RIK?
Asmi: To the jerks (as you call them), there was a time when I was a jerk too. But I did not want to stay one forever I sought for help (not sex or session) and received it. I took time to think through, discuss, ask, share and then gradually I discovered I was no longer a jerk. So you also have a choice - either you can stay a jerk or stop being one. Choose for yourself and all the best on your chosen paths.
To the new people joining FL and RIK. Please rest assured that there are LOT of people like you around. So, first, relax. Then, try exploring who you are and begin with SSC, You may of course choose to move to RACK or begin with it, if you're sure of what you want. Please take time to read, discuss, learn, share and grow. Make the most of it :)
SK: Hi Asmi, even though you're on the RIK Ezine board (So to speak), tell us about yourself (Fetishes, kinks, curiosities, your hobbies and anything more you’d like us to know).
Asmi: Hi Steel Kink, Thanks for interviewing me even though I'm on the RIK Ezine Team.
To be honest, I am a curious mind (multi-faceted to say the least), so my hobbies, fetishes, kinks, curiosities and the rest range across a diverse span. From erotica to spirituality, from beading & Jewelry-making to teaching, reading, writing, singing, interacting with people and much more.
The same goes for my fetishes & kinks. I am practically (in terms of physical experience) a novice, rather a virgin in the sense that I have almost zero experience. So, I will be able to tell you more on the lines of what interests me.
Gor never resonated to me as role-play. It was something I carried off screen with me and that is perhaps One of my Dominant Friends recently said - "Asmi is a Gorean at Heart".
I guess I had already figured out that there were two paths to submission - religious and non-religious. After playing around with religious submission for quite some time, I discovered that wasn't for me. In non-religious submission, I found Gor closest to my heart, so I guess that's from where my love for TPE, discipline, structures evolved.
So, after around six years of toying around with lifestyle in my head; I am mainly interested in TPE, (ONLY after a long interaction and time spent with the Dominant in question), control, discipline and structure. I am a stickler for analysis, re-analysis and lots of thought process before I jump into things. So, I guess sapio-sexuality would be next.
Corporal pain and Gor form the next two important subsets. Rest, I'm open to trying. Of course, I do have limits, so those taken care of, I'm pretty much open to trying everything and anything.
SK : You've been inactive as Asmi and you've been protected by your guardian angel - Sara Fina. Tell us a little about her. How's she different from Asmi? What gets her off?
Asmi : Well, I really haven't been inactive :)
It's just that life in general is moving on a roller coaster, job hopping, city hopping and the rest has consumed much of my time of late, added to the usual lack of machine and internet connection at times.
As far as Sara goes - well that's my way of expressing my stronger side. Now it could be a matter of debate whether Asmi is weak or does she see her sub side as weak? No, absolutely not. Asmi is strong, but finds it difficult to vocalize it. Sara is strong and capable of vocalizing it as well. So, Sara becomes the mouth piece in times of need.
At no time, is Sara a Dominant. Consider her more like a trainer/mentor in the larger scene of life.
SK: How did you come about being a kinkster? What instigated it? What's your earliest memory of you being involved in the concept of kinks (let alone BDSM)?
Asmi: I do not really self-identify as a kinkster. I am more of a submissive. I used the word submissive for myself for the first time, when I was 18. I didn't know the implications of the word then of course. I meant it in a simple manner. But, in retrospect, I was always the good girl who wished she was treated like the bad ones :)
I first discovered the terms and acronyms of BDSM when I was 22 after a breakup from an alpha-type vanilla guy. It was an LDR and of a duration of about 1.5 year. So, in order to distract myself, watching porn was recommended and that gradually took me to a BDSM website eventually. Curiosity killed the cat and I was hooked on to google and wikipedia and then yahoo chat rooms.
I came across Gor in my very initial days, moved to IRC, explored life there and then through 'Collar-me', I landed up on FL to find RIK. And it was then that I started discussing and exploring myself better through interactions.
SK: There have been speculations and rumors of people (not mentioning them, well me included) of tying you down to a table and giving you your much awaited birthday treat, please tell us RIKians what gets us people wanting us to do that to you? :)
Asmi: ROFL,Well I certainly do not know what exactly gets you people wanting to do that to me :P. But am sure part of it is to see me naked, part of it to teach me what spanking is and part of it is to educate me about bondage.
But am sure there are motives I can't see through, harmless and innocent as they might be :P
SK: You've been pretty vocal about your love for Delhi, what brings you to Delhi so much?
Asmi: Delhi has been my love since 2006. Partly because this is the only place apart from my native town that I have lived in. Partly because this was the first place that taught me what absolute freedom and absolute responsibility meant. It is a place that gives me a sense of aspirations, ambitions, dreams, and what not.
I guess, it's also because I've been in close though long distance interaction with most of my RIK friends who are mostly in Delhi. So, perhaps that is also an additional bond.
But more than everything, Delhi is a city that showed to me the trust my family put in me at a time, when I least expected but most deserved and needed it. I will not relate the incident here, but that sense of power and pride that comes with that sort of trust, is something that Delhi holds a symbol for me.
SK: Your dopple-ganger is being mentored by Aconite, tell us more about that.
Asmi: Something I guess my Dopple-ganger or Aconite would be able to tell you better :P But, I guess, it's more like Sara Fina interacting with a person and a friend I've gradually grown to love and cherish. And perhaps Sara_Fina found Aconite, someone whom sara could learn a bit from :)
SK: Politics seem to follow you around where ever you go and in what ever you do. Do you look back at it and thinks it funny or do you contemplate spanking the shit out of them?
Asmi: Politics is an integral part of life I guess Steel Kink. Call it a social construct or a political one, the moment there are more than two people interacting, the politics and lobby-ism WILL happen, unless the needs of every party are fully met. I personally doubt that, though am sure there will be people who will vehemently and logically oppose it.
I guess politics also by default follows those who are vocal. But that again is not really politics but reaction. And that I believe, is normal. So, most of the times it doesn't really bother me. At times, politics happens when you're not understood properly or cannot communicate properly.
So, in answer to your question, if logical, I accept the politics as gracefully as I can. If illogical and petty, I tend to laugh; but if illogical, unfair and detrimental to my life/relationships I cherish online and offline, I do at times feel like spanking shit out of some people who do that.
SK: In the last few months, Asmi has had a session with a psychotherapist, relocated and have a new job now in Delhi. Has this affected your kink life? and if so how?
Asmi: This hasn't affected my kink life Steel. I am still the same person. No session, no sex-before-the marriage-types. But yes, I do understand certain things about me better than before.So, I guess that has brought me more in harmony with my kink.
SK: What are some of your future plans? Do we see Sara Fina or Asmi becoming a prominent figure in society?
Asmi: Yes and no. Depends on which society are you talking about. I do have some goals, dreams and aspirations in life. So, If they get realized yes, you might see Asmi or Sara as a prominent figure. At the same time, if prominence in society takes a toll over my personal life in any manner, I'd be more than happy to lie low and be inconspicuous :) It is simply a matter of priorities and value I attach to different things in life.
SK: What's your advice to the jerks out there? and more importantly what's your advice to kinksters who are just joining FL and RIK?
Asmi: To the jerks (as you call them), there was a time when I was a jerk too. But I did not want to stay one forever I sought for help (not sex or session) and received it. I took time to think through, discuss, ask, share and then gradually I discovered I was no longer a jerk. So you also have a choice - either you can stay a jerk or stop being one. Choose for yourself and all the best on your chosen paths.
To the new people joining FL and RIK. Please rest assured that there are LOT of people like you around. So, first, relax. Then, try exploring who you are and begin with SSC, You may of course choose to move to RACK or begin with it, if you're sure of what you want. Please take time to read, discuss, learn, share and grow. Make the most of it :)
1 comments:
hmmmmm.. well said Asmi..
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